-I’ve only had– I’ve only had like two or three stitches, but it was like a centimeter from my eyeball.
-Oh really? -I got hit in the head with a piece of PVC.
-How’d you get hit with PVC? -My brother threw it at me and hit me in the face.
-Yep, sounds good. Sounds right
-A, B. *Smacking sound* Hospital. Stitches. You know my father was always like– he’s like ultimate handyman. He fixed everything; has to do everything himself, so it was common That was like shit laying around like tools and parts and stuff like that And I think he had old PVC pipes and the end was snapped So it was like jagged and broken at the end. It was my oldest brother David and his friend David, funny enough They were in our backyard So he comes and gets me and he goes, “We’re playing Olympics” or some shit like that Yeah, and in their head it was a Javelin, and they’re like, “Alright, we’re gonna throw the javelin in the yard.” “You know, you’d be like the judge and stand there and see where it lands.”
-“Okay.” Thing comes like, “Oh here it comes, here it comes.” Hits me right in the fucking face; literally right here in the face. Like a 10-foot long pole. -On the upside, they had a very precise measurement of the landing.
-Yeah, it– it– it’s right there I remember, I remember like getting up, like being dazed -And then just blood washing over my eyeballs.
-Was it like the beginning of a Bond movie?
-It was! Where it’s like *sings Bond theme* And I just couldn’t see. -He’s a freak–
-These stitches here, must be the most bizarre way. It involves baseball bat and a beanie baby. I was in my basement and was just fucking around and I like a plastic baseball bat like it’s like a wiffleball bat. I took a beanie baby, and I was like “fuck it” “let’s just do this” cuz I’m fucking around the baseball bat. Put it on the Floor and like a golf club, wound up the bat and smacked it; it went straight up And hit the light on my ceiling so it’s started to shake and obviously as a kid. I’m like “Oh, fuck– like did I break it?” And as I’m looking at it it falls -Past me, hits the ground and shatters and the glass goes up into my head.
-Jesus. As a kid, i’m like: “Oh fuck, like I broke the light” and so like I just turn around and run up. My plan is to get into my room and pretend I like- well, I don’t know. So, on my way up the stairs my mom sees me She’s like “Jeremy, is your nose bleeding?”
and I see blood on my arm. So I literally go “Probably”
like that, and she’s like “what why’s your nose bleeding? What happened?” I went, “Maybe it’s all that broken glass downstairs” hahahahahaha -It’s like, I don’t know, you know it might be, and she’s like
– Nice cover! Excellent!