Now it’s safe. (LAUGHING) (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (CRASHES) Rassin’ frassin’,
riggin’ rassin’! Oh, are you okay?
I was so worried. (KISSES CELL PHONE) What’s the big idea
with walking out
in front of my car? Couldn’t you see
I was a-texting? How careless of me. Hmm, you’re just lucky
my phone isn’t tarnished. Oh, no. No! No! No! There’s a hairline fracture. Oh! You’ll pay for this. I’m a-gonna sue
the pants off you. Well, first off,
I’m not wearing pants, and second… Hot-diggity-dog! Y’all done me a favor. That guy is a public menace. Get outta my way! (RINGS CONTINUOUSLY) Can I help you? I want the new phone!
I want the new phone! I want the new phone! I want the new phone! Are you sure you want
the new new phone? Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Oh, you have
excellent taste, sir. First, I have to go through
the list of features and get you to sign
some paperwork. Well, let’s hurry it up… Okay, sign here,
and also there and here and initial here. S, O… No, that’s not right. S, carry the one… That’ll do.
Now just a thumb print, belt-buckle print,
retina scan. Great. Okay, let me show you
a few of the new features. We have a self-defense option, virtual impact simulation, and of course,
it also plays music. But the most
important feature… I know how to use
a ding-dang phone! I ain’t no idiot! Oh!
(GROWLS) I really should call him to make sure
his phone works properly. Rassin’, frassin’, riggin’… -(PHONE MEOWS)
-Huh? Lion attack? This don’t sound
like a lion attack. Oh, self-defense!
Self-defense! Self… Oh! Yeah, that’s what
a lion attack sounds like. (PANTING) This phone
ain’t working right. I keep getting
attacked by lions. Well, you probably need to
set the ringtone to vibrate. I could do that for you. Uh, fine. Make sure it vibrates
nice and strong. I don’t wanna miss any calls. You got it. Oh, I forgot to ask you. Did you want the
“Acquaintances and Kin” plan? Barbara prefers
the “Gimme and Go” plan. Now, gimme that. And that’s why I recommend
a 57% increase
in threatening people -while yelling!
-(PHONE VIBRATES) Whoa! (SCREAMING) Mommy, Daddy, Mommy!
Mommy, Daddy, Mommy! Mommy, Daddy, Mommy!
Mommy, Daddy, Mommy! Mommy, Daddy, Mommy! (PHONE VIBRATES) (PHONE VIBRATING) (BEES BUZZING)