Javelin: World’s First Insertable Mind Reading Device


Are you tired of being kept in the dark? Hello? No, like are you tired of not knowing what
people are thinking? Brianna, do you want a cookie? I don’t like cookies and I don’t like fun. [throws cookie] Meet “Javelin,” the world’s first insertable
mind reading device for working professionals. Javelin keeps you in the loop. Okay, you wanna try it? [turns on with phone]
Okay, what am I thinking? [screams] And it makes business meetings a breeze. Hey Clem, I’ve got a really good idea for
this campaign. Yeah? Oh my god, I love it! I know, right! Javelin cuts chatter in half. Hey Clem— Yes, you can. Okay so— No, not today. Oh, okay, then— Death metal. Okay, thank youuuu! Just be mindful about shutting it off. [Brianna daydreaming]
Ew, Brianna! What, you don’t like John Cena? I just ate! We already know you want it. Javelin may cause minor discomfort in social situations.

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