What do I recommend? That you look at a menu and act like you’ve been to a bar before. No I don’t know what that drink is, but I’ll google it in the back Tequila shots? Would you like terrible, not so terrible, or impress people with your money? No I can’t recreate that drink you had that one time at that one bar. Here’s a $12 cocktail I made with the cheapest booze we have. Enjoy! That’s definitely a picture of your sister. I’ll take all the money I can get. Oh, you don’t want to give me your credit card because you think I should trust you even though we’ve never met. I’m judging the sh*t out of you for your drink choice. Four jager bombs? I hope you and your friends die in a hazing accident. Long Island ice tea? Sure thing, garbage person. Oh, you think that I’m wearing this low-cut shirt to get your phone number? Give me your money. We are not a team. You creep me out. Imagine how she feels. I poured you the wrong kind of wine but I’m pretty sure you can’t tell the difference. Make it strong? Go f*ck yourself. That should be stronger for you. It’s the same drink but I put a tiny drip of rum in the straw. I don’t need to shake it this much, but it looks cool. Tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips. I’ve had six shots this shift. I’ve done twelve. Tips, tips, tips, tips, tips I’ve been watering down your drinks because you’re turning into a drunk a*shole This is basically just sprite and fruit juice, but you’re too drunk to realize it. You were here first, but she’s more attractive, so I’m gonna go with her. Oh my god, I totally don’t know what you’re talking about but you’re lonely and you’re paying cash. I’m pretending like we didn’t hook up that one time. We all are. No pressure, but last call was twenty five minutes ago And I can’t wait for you guys to leave. You know we have food here? You don’t have to keep sneaking olives when you think I’m not looking. Oh what am I doing after work? Not hanging out with you. I’m just doing this until my etsy account takes off. I’ve given up on my dreams. I can’t remember what you ordered because I’m wasted.