If Bartenders Were Honest

What do I recommend? That you look at a menu and act like you’ve been to a bar before. No I don’t know what that drink is, but I’ll google it in the back Tequila shots? Would you like terrible, not so terrible, or impress people with your money? No I can’t recreate that drink you had that one time at that one bar. Here’s a $12 cocktail I made with the cheapest booze we have. Enjoy! That’s definitely a picture of your sister. I’ll take all the money I can get. Oh, you don’t want to give me your credit card because you think I should trust you even though we’ve never met. I’m judging the sh*t out of you for your drink choice. Four jager bombs? I hope you and your friends die in a hazing accident. Long Island ice tea? Sure thing, garbage person. Oh, you think that I’m wearing this low-cut shirt to get your phone number? Give me your money. We are not a team. You creep me out. Imagine how she feels. I poured you the wrong kind of wine but I’m pretty sure you can’t tell the difference. Make it strong? Go f*ck yourself. That should be stronger for you. It’s the same drink but I put a tiny drip of rum in the straw. I don’t need to shake it this much, but it looks cool. Tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips. I’ve had six shots this shift. I’ve done twelve. Tips, tips, tips, tips, tips I’ve been watering down your drinks because you’re turning into a drunk a*shole This is basically just sprite and fruit juice, but you’re too drunk to realize it. You were here first, but she’s more attractive, so I’m gonna go with her. Oh my god, I totally don’t know what you’re talking about but you’re lonely and you’re paying cash. I’m pretending like we didn’t hook up that one time. We all are. No pressure, but last call was twenty five minutes ago And I can’t wait for you guys to leave. You know we have food here? You don’t have to keep sneaking olives when you think I’m not looking. Oh what am I doing after work? Not hanging out with you. I’m just doing this until my etsy account takes off. I’ve given up on my dreams. I can’t remember what you ordered because I’m wasted.

100 thoughts on “If Bartenders Were Honest

  1. If you think being a bartender is tough; try driving your car and delivering food in a city with 250,000 people in Florida.

  2. “Make it strong? Go F&%# yourself.”

    LMAO this is me! I hate when ppl think your just gonna make the drink strong without paying extra or give me a decent tip at least!


    I CaNt ReMemBer WhAT u JsT orDerEd, CauSe iM WasTed

    These would be me 😂😂😂

  4. Guy; yes, I’ll have a glass of your finest white wine

    Me: pours the cheapest thing in the fridge bcos I know he can’t tell the difference

  5. I've never seen a bartender that looks happy. They all seem stressed, annoyed and burned out. Definitely not a glamorous job in real life.

  6. It's just tongue in cheek. Bartenders will have these thoughts at times depending on how stressed or overworked we are but the good ones act professionally and realize that the small percentage of the time that the job sucks is outweighed by the majority of the time that it's a great job.

  7. Bourbon, neat please. Simple enough and lets them know that you know what you're doing. If you really want to be specific about brands already have one in mind or ask for the well

  8. I’m probably gonna be dragged for this but ole boi in the thumbnail looks like a mixture between Jordan Peele and King Bach

  9. “You were here first but she’s more attractive so I’m a go with her” wow no wonder I always have to wait soo long to get my drink 😬

  10. I'm a bartender and I've only done like half of these: people ordering like 4 complicated drinks during rush hour, asking for your number or what you're doing after work and staying after last call when you want to go home are no doubt the worst things customers can do to you.

  11. I am by default a nice person. However, my experiences with most bartenders have been lack luster. So I tend to treat bartenders like the help. You are here to pour my booze. You can keep the attitude.

  12. Yeah… drinking in the the job and watering down a customer's drink without their permission is illegal… Also most bartenders love their job and interacting with people. Why so rude?

  13. Everyone working in customer service, retail employees, cashiers, waiters, etc. ALL think this way. If you don’t believe me, you’re delusional.

  14. …Well, better order water while hanging out with my plastered friends because it makes me look more mature.

  15. "Your American I'm going to serve you last and give you a very average service because you have an obsession with tipping and I don't need to go out if my way to make you feel special because you going to tip me anyway!"

  16. you shouldn't complain about drinks being difficult to make. Yes there are ones that don't just consist of whiskey and coke but it's your job and I'm paying you.
    I worked at a bakery. you have to serve the customer. It's your job

  17. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't with bartenders. If you say anything at all, they automatically assume you are hitting on them. If you are too quiet, they think you are up to something. Or they get offended that you are not at least trying to make a play for them. That's especially true with the females ones

  18. I’m a bartender and while most of these are true there are also really fun and rewarding aspects of the jobs

  19. Anyone taking tips from a fuckin buzzfeed video about a bar should not be going to a bar. If you meet a good bartender they’ll tell you like it is regardless

  20. I would rather get cut off then have them pour me a watered down drink and make me pay the same price

  21. As a Mixologist (yes, I said “Mixologist”) for almost 15 years, this video is SPOT ON. I’ve said EVERY one of these private comments in my head at some point over the years. I can’t believe how accurate this video is. Well done. Bartenders definitely have their work cut out for them. Customers can really be a handful if they want to be. This is Hilarious.

  22. People saying “get another job then” or “stop complaining” if you’ve served or done customer service, you get this 100% 😂😂😂

  23. The first one is not true tho, we love it when you show genuine interest in what we recommend and when I have the time I will not give you my favorite but ask you for preferences and give you a drink based on that. Only if the bar isn’t stacked tho and you’re quick. Never come to the bar when you don’t know what to get AND don’t want the bartenders favorite. “Uhm… I’d like a screwdriver. Oh no rather a Manhattan. Or wait, could I just get a vodka shot?” You’ll get a fcking cement mixer. And like half of the others aren’t true were I work because bartenders here are HUMAN BEINGS and get a decent salary without tips. So tipping is only done by tourists, people that really wanna be on your good side or if your service was exceptional.

  24. A majority of comments here are either from people who have never worked retail, or people that just didn’t get the joke…

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