Best of Between The Games (1-30) [AH]

Jeremy: Can I axe kick your desk?
Michael: So we- we got one. Gavin: You wanna kick my desk? J: Really bad… M: You wanna KICK it? J: I want to put my leg in the air and then HEEL down; I bet it’ll go through. M: Dude, if you chop it in half… FUCKING amazing. J: Alright. It won’t go through, It’s not gonna go through. Matt: Will you? Ryan: Thi- this is a blanket… *EXODIA OBLITERATE* Matt: YOU DIDN’T CATCH IT!! M: Remember- remember when I say it was gonna break? Ryan: What I- when I was about to say, “blanket of forgiveness for anything that happens,” you should have let me finish. M: Remember when I said it was gonna break? R: It’s uh… Lindsay: That’s a video. R: Now, you’re not-… G: OH MAI GAWD, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! M: That is fucking… insanity.
Jack: Got it. *BIP* G: Oooooooh NOOOOOO! Jack: Oh… M: You got a new hole! M: You got a new finger hole. M: IT WAS WEAKENED; HE KICKED THE WEAKEST SPOT ON THE ENTIRE DESK! G: I am BLOWN away. M: IT WAS LIKE FUCKING PAPER!
G: Look at that! J: I would like to re-apply for my black belt. M: IT WAS LIKE PAPER! R: That’s why I moved this stuff. M: IT FOLDED IMMEDIATELY! Jeremy: They listen to ya’… when you get the knife out. J: I’m gonna kick this fucking pumpkin. Michael: Yeah… do it! Gavin: Should we open on that, then?
Mica: Are you gonna punt it?! M: No, he’s gonna axe kick it.
J: No, I’m gonna axe kick it.
Mica: You’re gonna axe kick it? M: Wha- so you’re gonna kick i- J: Okay… let’s give myself the good luck first by saying… “It’s not gonna go through.” *BROKEN LEG* J: Wait! One more! One more! M: AW, that looked like it hurt! J: One more! One more! Mica: Oh, my God! *FUCK YOU DAVID S. PUMPKINS* G: NO! M: That is impressive, Jeremy. J: There it is… M: That is impressive. *BIP* *BIP* *GLACK* *BIP* *GLAOW* *BIP* J: Look at that pumpkin! Matt: So, I decided to make my smiley face. J: Yeah, I gotta make a bit of a mouth. G: Oh, God…
Mica: Oh, my God! J: Look at that! LOOK AT THAT PUMPKIN! M: Look at…Look at that Achievement Hunter logo right there… Look at that! *MATT FINISHES* J: Hold on, I gotta make him smile…. G: OW! G: Alright… think of it as- as your wor-… *SHABANG* G: …your worst enemy. *IT’S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE* J: Wow. That noise, though…
M: There it goes! M: You can’t even go around! It’s gone! M: And THAT is why I just brought the broken one, Jeremy… M: I told you!
J: That’s barbed wire! M: I told you it was gonna happen. J: DAMNIT! J: I… am the Order. R: Don’t put your finger on top of there, you’ll chop it off. *SHWICK* M: EXCELLENT! R: I do feel like we should go get the knives. (Because what else would Ryan say?) J: Oh, the throwing knives? *SPLOOSH* M: Not bad… not bad. Matt: That’ll play… it’ll play. R: Who wants to fling a knife?! J: I do!
Mica: I do! J: WHA’JU CALL ME?! *SPLAT* M: Don’t- hey, don’t smash the Jack-O-Lantern. Auctioneer: Step right up, step right up! Who wants to fling a knife? FLING A KNIFE, WIN A PRIZE! Trevor: Ryan please just- just get it over with… R: I can’t throw knives anymore, I don’t think. *RYAN CAN’T THROW KNIVES ANYMORE* M: OH! And I think it went right through!
R: Right through! M: Man, I wondered somebody here were gonna fuck that fence up-… *RYAN FUCKS THAT FENCE UP* R: Two through! R: They’re gone!! Jack: I think… Jack: …we can put Little J on the wall using duct tape. T: That’s the 10 we’re lookin’ for. Jack: 10… Well, it’s really 9 and Sco-… G: Soon, Jeremy will be like this… *WEEBLES WOBBLE BUT THEY DON’T FALL DOWN* Jack: Fuckin’ Trev-… G: So, we should probably get some scissors and some stools. J: Matt, go… Go get the scissors. G: I like everyone’s story of how they got in Achievement Hunter, but yours… I feel bad about because you were a fan of Achievement Hunter. J: I was… G: And now, Achievement Hunter is taping you to the Achievement Hunter Wall™. J: Aw, key thing was, “was.” Jack: We got our first- first roll done. G: Oh.
Matt: Oh, wow. J: OH NO, It’s got chest hair! *MATING CALL* T: Oh, that’s the Gorilla Tape, too. J : AGH! T: Let me cover up that chest hair…
J: No, no, no! *SQUAWK* J: NO! J: Listen I know it’s gonna be warm and uncomfortable… but I need someone to get in there and get the zipper up a little bit. Jack: Gavin, that’s all you. *NSFW* *NSFL* J: WHO DID THE DICK?! *SHIELD YOUR EYES, KIDS* T: Um… whoops! *MAD SCIENTIST CACKLING* J: I wanna be decent! J: Ay! Hey, I want to show you, uh… my new merch that just came out… check it out! *BROKEN TRAIN WHISTLE* J: HI!!! T: Hi, Kat. G: “Why is he connected to the wall?” *$100* T: You hit Burnie! J: Take that, Elf on the Shelf™! G: We’ll give you a straw in a sec’. *$19.99* J: AGH, MY THUMB! T: Hold your fingers in! *PRICELESS* *JACK DYING* Berry Face: What the FUCK?! *HYENA ON ACID* G: Andy, what are your thoughts? Andy: WOW! T: You missed it! J: Alright, ready? Here we go… J: FAP! *CHAOS ENSUES* J: NAH, MY STUFF! AFTER ALL THAT! Why mine?! A: How many rolls of duct tape is that?
G: It was almost 10, I think. A: ❂.❂ Jack: Does Heroes and Halfwits know this is happening? T: No. Absolutely not. Jack: Okay… ’cause what we can do is we can like… Jack: …put something over him. T: Yeah, that won’t be suspicious… Jack: Kinda “shittily.” R: So, how long did that take? *GROUP TEEHEES* M: That’s pretty funny. R: Well, it’s- there’s a human in there. M: Yeah… Yeah, I see that. I see that. J: Ryan! R: Jeremy… You alright, buddy?
J: Hey! J: Hey, buddy! R: What, uh… T: So, uh, we found your fridge, Ryan. R: Oh, there it is!
J: No worries, it’s still right there. M: Who mentioned that, by the way? Somebody mentioned that like forever ago; doing that. Like, months ago… Jack: Geoff said he’s gonna be here in 20. T: Twenty minutes… to hang out. R: Hey, Mica. M: Jeremy, do you know where the water is? Mica: What the FUCK? M: She wasn’t gonna check. J: I- I was like, I- if I didn’t leave my phone, when you were like, “Did you leave your sunglasses here,” I was gonna go… *SWIPE* Mica: Wwwwwwhhhyyyyyyyy? M: We just came in and he was up there. Jack: Door, door, door!
J: Door, door, door! M: Waiting for Geoff. M: Praying to God, that- Geoff Ramsay walks in the door, there he is! M: There it is. Geoff has now noticed. M: Where Jeremy i-
J: Hey, Geoff! Geoff: Alright… M: I didn’t notice it either, to be fair. M: Alright, Jack’s gonna cut you down. Jack: No, no, no, he- he’s gonna try to get it on his own, first. *PLOP* Jack: That was amazing! T: Look at ‘im! Look at ‘im! T: He’s comin’ for us! M: That’s a fuckin’ Halloween costume, man. Jack: That was so perfect. M: You look like- you look like a character from Paper Mario… You’re in fuckin’ two dimensions. Matt: He’s gonna like fold up and fly away. *WEEBLE FALLS DOWN* M: There he goes. G: Wow. We didn’t even rip the wall. G: There we go. G: Michael’s found his new favorite toy. M: Oh, dude if we film a Let’s Watch…
Jack: Oh, there’s your jacket on the floor. Jack: I can see it. M: Where? Oh, down there. G: You’re gonna have to do a little man to get it. Jack: Good luck. Jack: Ayy!
J: Wow! Jack: Impressive, sir! *NOT SO IMPRESSIVE* M: Who put that Kino there? G: Oh! Jack: Oh! G: Give it a little nudge and see if it- the momentum keeps… Oh, dude, we should just take it outside on the- G: Yes! M: You wanna know how to drift? G: Dude… M: HO-LY SHIT! M: STOP! *BOOP* M: Don’t drink and drive… But do: Drink and ride! *ANGRY SEGWAY BEEPING* M: Shut up, you don’t know what you’re doing! M: Come on. *BIFF* G: Oh… oh, dear. *ULTIMATE SPEED* *IF YOU AIN’T OUTTA CONTROL, YOU AIN’T IN CONTROL* M: AAAAAAGH! G: Oh, my God. M: It can’t do it, it’s not strong enough. M: I guess I’ll have to walk. *TOSS* (Not the British kind.) M: What a fucking thief! M: I also turned the lights on too so he wastes electricity. M: Push your fucking chair in, come on! M: So I’d like- I’m glad everyone joined us here. *SQUEEK* M: Hang on… Hang- let’s… wait. M: Oh… God. M: OH, GOOOOOD! *SMASH* G: Did you do that? *SHRUG* M: Aww! M: Ow… M: DRIFT! *CRUNCH* M: I hope they didn’t need that stuff. G: Oh, my God, what was in there? M: DRIFT! G: Michael, every video needs a Grand Finale… G: …and, uh, we don’t know what this is, but it looks like a ramp. M: We have no idea what this is. It’s just like a table… That certainly… certainly should not be fucked with this- in this manner. Gus: Better than I expected. Gus: WAIT, I’m not here! M: Gus, no! G: That was an amazing Grand Finale! Gus: I didn’t realize that the whole table… tilted like that. G: Yeah… G: It was a part of the uh… part of the trick. Gus: That’s cool. Gus: Victory lap. Well deserved. I would say get back to work, but you are working. G: Yeah. M: DAH DAH DAH DANAAAAH! DAT DANAAH NANAT! Lindsay: Hi, can I get, uh, three Big Mac meals? Then can I get five Mac Juniors? Then THREE Big Macs. And then one Grand Mac. And then can I get a 20-piece nug? M: I’ve never had so much McDonald’s in my lap at once in the car. They weren’t fucking around, right? M: They had no idea. You’re gonna need two hands. I’m gonna need more than that. M: So now, opening this…
Geoff: That’s not a great lookin’ patty. M: No, you just shut up and eat it. Don’t take it apart and look at it, okay? That’s- you’re doing McDonald’s wrong. J: Okay, so there…
M: So, that’s the top.
R: Okay. Flip it. J: Flip it. That’s off.
Ryan: Flip it and stick it. R: Look at all that! G: Oh, careful! R: Oooo, we’re already pretty tall.
J: Okay, so that is… HALF. R: You wanna- you wanna… skewer the… initial part? G: We might need a temporary skewer. R: I’m not gonna touch, but… there it is.
J: Yeah, yeah.
M: Yeah, skew’ it. R: There we go. M: Alright, that’s half of what’s going in the Grand Mac! R: No, the Monster Mac! M: The Monster Mac!
J: The Monster Mac! M: Well, it’s going in the Grand Mac to CREATE the Monster Mac. R: You gotta flip it, Michael. J: For it to be upside-down?
R: Yeh, there ya’ go. R: Oooooh! R: Oooooo!
J: Ho! Get the bottom one on! Geoff: Oh, goodness.
M: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
R: Stab that bitch! M: We got it.
R: There’s no flipping it at this point.
J: There’s no- we gotta skewer it from the bottom. R: It’s just a- it’s a Grand Mac down under. R: All the way.
Geoff: It’s a… a Monster Mac.
M: Send it through. Send it through. R: Slam it down.
M: ‘Til we hit table. J: We’re hittin’ it. We’re hittin’ table.
M: That’s it! G: That’s the Monster Mac! M: That’s the- that’s the upside-down Monster Mac. J: Oh, my-!
R: You can just flip it. G: How much of this can you eat? M: Probably about at least one or two bites. *MUNCH* R: There we go.
J: Oh, yeah, get in there, pal. Geoff: How’s it taste? M: Dude, it’s good, actually. M: I mean, it’s- it’s a Big Mac… how many times over? *SQUISH* M: We’re losin’ it. We’re losin’ a little bit of the bottom bun, there.
G: That’s fine. We’re losin’ it either way. M: I’m afraid I’m gonna stab myself in the eye, you know what I mean? Like… M: I want the bun, I don’t want the skewer. M: You got it? J: Ready? Here I’ll- let me get in there. *MUSH* M: Dude, we’re on a date. *DUO CHOMP* M: Move over, Lady and the Tramp. J: Wow, that is… tasty. M: It’s good, man! J: I thought- I thought that was gonna be horrific. M: I think that’s about all I can stomach. J: Ryan, get in the bottom. M: Bottom- bottom’s free. *OMNOMNOM* M: Oh, my God, he almost bit my finger. I swear to God! It was so close; I had- I went like *WHOOP*. Geoff: We’ll have a new video, “Ryan bit my finger.” M: He came after it, hard, man. M: I’m not gonna eat that extra Big Mac, I’ve decided… M: I really don’t-… I don’t-… I-… I don’t want it anymore. G: It was optimistic. M: I don’t want it anymore. T: Hey, everyone, Trevor here… …and Saint Patrick’s Day is right around the corner; the holiday where young people go out wearing green, pinching strangers and getting totally shit-faced. Well, we thought we’d take a couple of these elements and smash them all together in typical Achievement Hunter fashion to create a new Saint Patrick’s Day tradition… The Slamrock Shake. T: Let me show you the secret ingredient; the pièce de résistance; the, “Mmm, baby, that tastes good.” T: Lil’ Jameson. T: You guys have your- you got- you guys have your glasses? R: Did you just go in a say give me everything with-… M: What are you doing?! T: Alrighty, there’s one… then we get a little but of each.
J: Why? R: That’s… there’s not- clearly not enough volume in that bowl. T: That’s e- Ryan, I didn’t think about it, okay? M: I wasn’t really concerned about the volume, it’s the fact that it doesn’t look like a liquid. T: It’s uh… It’s an appetizing BROWN and green color. R: I don’t think those are homogenized enough. M: BROWN?! T: BROWN! M: It’s BROWN.
T: It’s BROWN. R: You didn’t even leave room for the alcohol. M: Oh, come on! Don’t do that! T: You sizzled me a little bit. M: Come on, why’d you put Red Bull in there? You just ruined the whole god-damn thing. R: Why is there- you put Red Bull in it?
J: I wanna make sure we wake ourselves up a little. M: I’m gonna take the non-Red Bull one. Jack: Yeah, where’s a non-Red Bull one?
J: Right here. M: This is Last Call Jack right here… This is Last Call Jack is what Ryan is doing right now… *TREVOR PREPARES FOR IMPENDING DOOM* T: That’s actually not bad.
M: That’s actually – you’ve made a delicious drink. Jack: Are we toasting? Before- oh, did you guys already drink? *TOAST* Jack: Here’s to Trevor’s… dumb name. M: It’s like, “Oh, I made a delicious, minty drink… That I can’t taste the alcohol in any way.” J: I’m goin’ in.
T: You’re goin’ in?! T: Alright. Alright, here we go. M: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don’t- don’t- don’t fuck up the YouTube jacket. M: That’s fine.
T: Alright. Bob for shamrocks. J: There’s somethin’ in there and I want it. M: Well, there’s definitely ice. Lindsay: 3!… J: I don’t know what you’re counting down to. Lindsay: FUCKIN’ DRINK! *JAB* Jack: Ooooh! R: Awww! M: Oh, my GOD! L: It’s green and green, look at that! M: It’s so THICK! M: He’s- I can see him strawing it, he’s just-… M: Alright, Jeremy, that’s amazing. That’s possibly the thumbnail.
J: I drank… SO MUCH of that. M: I just saw you-…
R: It’s WAY lower. M: He was breathing like a fish, just goin’: *FISH IMPRESSION* Jack: Alright Michael…
M: I can’t let Jeremy best me like that… Jack: AW! Show Shifty that. T: Hey, it’s a face! T: There’s hair in it and stuff, too. T: Here you go.
J: Go ahead, Michael! It’s fun! T: “It’s fun.”
R: Is it refreshing?
J: It’s SUPER refreshing. M: GET SLAAAAAAMED! M: YEAAAH! M: Did you get that one, Larry? M: GET SLAAAAAAMED! M: Welcome to McDonald’s! You thought the Monster Mac was the beg- it’s the END?! It’s the beginning! J: You can’t have it your way!
M: The beginning of the end! M: You can’t take the Shamrock from me, it’s mine! Jack: “Potentially insane man…” T: He’s back to hiding in the bowl. T: I don’t know what I expected.
M: Get outta here! Lindsay: He’s gonna bring this home.
T: This tastes a lot better than I expected… M: I’ll tell ya’ what, though… I did forget how much alcohol was in there and I’m-… …I just got a little fucked up.
T: Can you feel it? M: Yeah. T: Well, there you have it… The Slamrock Shake… I guess the slam ended up being people slamming their faces into it, so… R: That’s why it smells like matches, yeah… T: So… make it at home for yourselves. T: So, Larry is our uh, our resident Lead Editor here at Achievement Hunter. Matt: Allegedly. T: He’s… earned a lot of Loot Boxes. Matt: Fuckin’… You know what I hate about him? Never opened one. T: But, we figured we’d help him out… uh, open up his little Loot Boxes and see what he’s got inside. Matt: He’s gonna LOVE IT. Larry: Hey, Matt Bragg, what’s up? Matt: Hey, so uh… you know that whole thing I did yesterday where it looked like I opened your loot boxes? Larry: Yeah, where you were an asshole and ate- like ate all of my loo- looties? Yeah. Matt: I did Photoshop it.
T: We- yeah, it was just a Photoshop, it was ju- it was just a prank, bro. Larry: Okay. Matt: That’s really all I wanted to tell you… just kinda, you know… T: Alright, that’s all we need from Larry. Um… T: What do you say we open his Loot Boxes, now? Matt: Absolutely, let’s do that right now. Matt: His very first ever. Let’s fucking do it. Matt: What’s his first loot box? Matt: Ooooo! T: Ooh! Bad Luck Larry. Matt: Oh, but hey! All new items, as it turns out. All new; no dupes there. Matt: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Legendary!
T: Ooo, Larry! Your first yellow! T: You don’t even play him.
Matt: Yeah, I know! But, I mean, you got ‘im! Matt: Put a mark on the board! He got a… Pirate Torby. T: That’s two. Matt: This is Kent’s FIRST loot box…
Kent: First one. Matt: Let’s see- Oh! He got a purple.
Kent: I got a purple! Andy: What have I done? Matt: Alright, alright. Matt: Oh… that’s still okay!
Andy: Oooh. Matt: Oh, you got a purple! You’re pretty good. Matt: Uhp! Got a legendary… You wanna mark that… real quick. The last- this is the last loot box. T: Not even thinkin’ about it, Larry. That’s how little it means to me. Matt: Fuckin’ done. *BUSTED* Larry: ‘Sup, fucker! Larry: So let’s find out… disconnected. Matt: Oh, you’re disconnected? *MATT GOES HAHAHAHA* Larry: How am I supposed to find out?! Larry: We’ll be performing scheduled maintenance beginning on Tuesday, May 2nd at 7:00 a.m… …and it’s gonna go to approximately 10 or 9 Pacific, which is 11-… Larry: I LITERALLY CAN’T FIND OUT FOR ANOTHER HOUR! Larry: THAT IS NOT 214; THAT IS VERY MUCH 6! Larry: Matt Bragg, wha’d’ya do?! Matt: Turn around real quick. Turn around. Look at the board. Larry: What? Matt: “Larry’s Yellows.” Right there.
Larry: Wha-… what?! Matt: So that’s all the legendaries you got. That’s 20. Larry: What?! T: You were very valuable at uh-, in-, for statistical purposes. Larry: You stared at me the whole ti- it’s been there the whole- I didn’t even… I was-… Larry: I don’t like you… I don’t like you… Andy: WHYYY?! Larry: I don’t like you… T: I’ll FIRE you. Larry: Oh, sh-… Duly noted. Matt: You may not have all those loot boxes… But I know what you do have, now… Larry: What do I have? Matt: A video to edit. Larry: I’m not editing that; go FUCK yourself! Larry: Fuck yo-… G: Flinchless Kickie-Doo, where someone stands up that end and punts it as hard as they can, and no one is allowed to flinch. *PUNT* *EVERYONE FLINCHES* J: Oh, my God, that scared the shit outta me! G: That’s really hard not to flinch. Alright. Jeremy’s up. *HOMING ATTACK* Matt: OH! Shit! *DOUBLE TAP* Matt: Ow! Why?! Why are you aiming at me?!
T: Same spot. *TRIPLE THREAT* Matt: Ow! Gavin!! *FINAL STRIKE* Matt: GOD DAMNIT! *NEVERMIND* Matt: God-!
J: I can’t help it! *MAKE IT STOP* Matt: GOD! *R.I.P.* Matt: GOD!!! T: I-… I definitely dodged it. *SNIPED YA’* G: WOH-HAA! G: WOH-HAA! (In Slow-Mo) T: I think I gave him a heart attack. HWOH! *BOP* Jack: HOLY SHIET! *ROCK ‘EM* T: Did you hit ‘im?! *SOCK ‘EM* *SLOW-MO BOP* T: I just kinda leaned back, like… *COME ON AND-* *SLAM* *JAM* *DAMN* *JACK.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING* T: It was such a noise! Matt: I felt that-… T: His no- his nose! It’s like flattened to his face! Matt: I felt that behind me. Jack: It like skips off his mouth…
J: BAM! G: It like JFK’d my head. Geoff: We’re gonna test this out. See how sharp this guy is. Alright, ready? M: Yeah. M: Not good.
G: Oh! M: That was better…
G: Oh! That wasn’t bad. Okay, so… G: Alright, Michael. *COMPLETELY WIFFED* M: Just… completely wiffed. G: Completely missed, that’s a- that’s a redo. *DIDN’T GET IT* M: Just can’t get it. G: You’ll get it, you’ll get it. *SLICE* M: There we go!
G: OH! G: Amazing…
M: That was-… that was good, that was good. Jack: Alright, ready?
Geoff: Mmm-hmm. Jack: Ooooooooh!
Geoff: Oooooooh! M: Wow! *FRUITALITY* M: Oh, my God, Gavin… Oh, my God. M: We’re gonna need a zoom and enhance on that one, because that was fucking incredible.
Geoff: Ho-ly shit! M: Gavin… well done.
G: WOW! It wasn’t 50/50, but the- I- you know, I hit it. M: Still. Still. R: That’s impressive. Geoff: Where do ya’ go from here? M: You go to the credits. G: This one’s for New Zealand. G: Oooooh!
Geoff: Ayy!! Jack: Ayy!! J: Ya’ ready?! M: That… was like, that’s a lot of fire.
J: That’s a lot of fire. M: Oh, yeah, this is not great in there! *COUGHING* Jack: Yeah, he’s out. He’s outta the room. R: It’s still smokin’.
Jack: Jeremy, go in there and put your face up against the window. R: Uh… Uhp! There he is, there he is! Jack: He just appeared. Lindsay: Like a terrorist. M: Get the World Series tickets, Jeremy! The bug bomb bastards took ’em! Jack: Oh, he’s leaving. He’s out. Matt: The mask probably didn’t make breathing easier. J: Someone sent us like 20 smoke grenades. M: I gotta turn the webcam off! *ANDY CAN’T BREATH* *BREACH AND CLEAR* Geoff: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Geoff: Poor Ashley… Geoff: OOOOOH SHIT! M: That’s why I didn’t give it to you. *MUFFLED SCREAMING* Jack: Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s legit. Geoff: What are we- is y- are we puttin’ this out? J: Yes. Geoff: This a video? M: Absolutely, yeah. *SOMETHING USELESS FALLS OFF OF THE WALL* G: AAAAAOUH! M: What is- what is falling from the ceiling? J: Dr. Pepper-… *FUMBLE* *EXPLOSION* M: Je-sus. G: It was like an explosion! M: Did you hit yourself in the face at one point? M: It’s- it’s not on the floor, yet! We’re at like, around 12, or so? M: JESUS CHRIST! M: You suck. *PING* T: Holy shit! Jack: That is full! That was full and landed right on the computer. M: Oh, did it spill?
Jack: Oh, yeah, a little bit. M: Oh, it’s pretty good, here let me mo-… J: Oh, it’s MY Alienware! M: Well, yeah. M-mi-mine’s over there, man. J: Ooo, that’s a hefty amount of water.
M: It’s down there. Jack: Nah, that’s probably soda of some nature. Jack: Here ya’ go. G: OOOOUH, MINE! *HEADBUTT* M: Oh, my God! *BIPPITY* *BOPPITY* M: (Slow-Mo) Oh, my God! M: Dude, did you guys both headbutt it? Andy: Alright, last one.
J: One! J: AAGH, two! J: Two, GAH, three! J: It hasn’t touched floor!! Andy: There we go! M: What is happening?!
*TIMBER* T: God damnit!! God damnit! Jack: That had to be 10, right? That had to be 10. G: Was that it? Was that 10? J: Are you okay?! J: ARE YOU OKAY?! T: You did the other- you preffered the ball! J: I’M SORRY! T: This is the microphone! G: We knocked the camera over. Uh… we didn’t get to 25. Jack: I don’t think-… I also rolled my ankle, too. We might get that on footage. J: So, we have… bags and bags of marshmallows here… and then a really shit ball microwave. J: I think we might have reached the… apex of melting. J: Oh, God… *SPLAT* G: Oh, man. G: It looks… really satisfying, actually. J: OW, when you like squeeze it, it activates and gets really hot! J: Want some? J: Andy… J: No, Andy! It’s- you don’t know how long that’s been in a microwave, dude! J: It’s really fun, actually. J: Like, look at that consistency! J: I want that paper clip. *SLAP* R: I don’t – I don’t think you got it. R: It’s uh… Gus: Is he making pizza? R: That’s, uh-… that’s some science involved, here. Uh, the base ingredient appears to be… stupidity and marshmallow. J: NANANANANA-NA-NANA… Spider-Man! *THWIP* R: Also, THIS one’s our building, so [inaudible] THAT way. G: Oh, yeah… G: You didn’t climb Stage 4, you climbed Stage 3. M: You’re not gonna want that jacket, man. G: Feel the-… feel the heat. J: UGH! G: Just like Boston, right?
J: Yeah. *NOPE* *TRY AGAIN* M: Hit the ground.
G: OOUGH! *CLOSE* G: It was close! Clos-ER. G: OH! Almost! Almost.
M: It was close! M: URRGH! J: OH! Nailed it! J: Okay, but- no, no, no, dangerous area, Michael! G: Alright, be careful when you pull it; pull it slowly. M: I think I got it. G: Good enough to climb? J: Ladies and Gentlemen… there is some sort of Stormtrooper attempting to infiltrate… Stage 5. G: Man, it’s actually properly anchored on there. J: I can see the gutter bending, but… I don’t think that’s where it’s actually anchored to. M: Right? Like, it can’t be done. M: I’ve already got black and blues on my hands. G: Alright, we’ll have to continue- oh, dear! M: Alright, so, that’s a stopping point; here’s what we’ll do… J: We’ll leave this here…
M: Tie it off. J: That way the building won’t go anywhere. G: Yeah.
M: To be safe. G: We basically just made the building more secure. J: *PUTS ON SUNGLASSES* Yeah. M: I ran into John Mace yesterday, and he went, “Cool, how about the two holes in the roof from the grappling hook last week?” …and I was like, “THAT was me.” *TWANG* G: OH! G: It wasn’t graceful… by any means, but it’s up there. M: What a sound. G: I think I shouldn’t be- Ooh! What’re these? M: That- you’re getting distracted! Okay? Focus on the grappling hook. M: You can’t combine bouncy balls with grappling hook, yet. G: Now, correcting the hook with a-… Ayy! M: Fucking… Christ. G: That was close. M: Throwing rubber mallets at a grappling hook stuck in the ceiling. Jack: Well, the- it’s how you’re supposed to get it down, I’m pretty sure it was in the uh, manual. G: Oh, so close! You’re gettin’ really… really close. G: OH, AMAZING!
M: Perfect. Perfect. Jack: See, that’s how we’re supposed to get a grappling hook. *BANG* M: IIIIIIIIIT’S TREVOR! Jack: Oh, you almost got two hooks! If you get two hooks on there, that’s it. That’s Game Over.
Jack: It’s exactly how it was before. M: Jesus Christ. I saw it undoing, and I- my life almost ended. R: About what I expect.
M: We’re good, we’re good. It’s just Ryan. Jack: It’s okay. R: Go! J: Mine went right through the top, there! M: Fucking hell. M: Jeremy’s got a little spear! Jack: Hey, nice! T: You’re gonna throw that?!
Jack: I’m gonna try.
J: No!- Oh, that? Yeah. He’s gonna throw that. *SAMURAI JACK* Jack: OOOOH! YES! Jack: It works!… And no one got hurt. G: Use your meat.
T: That’s just gonna punch me! G: But, you’re in complete control. *SNAP* Jack: There ya’ go! See? T: It wasn’t a punch, but it was, uh, a just, like… G: That was wicked! T: Do we have more?
G: Yeah. T: Go ahead and stick your hands in there. T: How am I-? You’re gonna have to tighten it… on yourself. *QUACK* G: OOOWW! Geoff: Maybe it wasn’t tight enough?
G: Oh, shit! T: Okay, what are you doing? You don’t need that. Geoff: Just, fuckin’… do it the right way, dumbass. R: Look, you just- you get-…
T: You’re gonna hurt yourself that way. Jack: Well, this is how Gavin slits both of his wrists in one go. R: It’s uh, it’s an interesting strategy. T: The face of a boy, lost in-… G: I need fire. T: You need FIRE? R: No, you DON’T need fire! Lindsay: This is gonna hurt my thumb, but I’ll do it for you. Ahh, okay… Ready? T: Don’t hurt yourself, Lindsay! Lindsay: Hold! Hold! Hold! I can hold longer… Uhp, I’m done! T: It was all in the s- you were just- it was all in the strength. T: It’s gotta be tight. It’s gonna be a little uncomfortable. R: ‘Kay. T: The thing… So you-… *RYAN DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK* T: …Or that. T: It flew back and hit him right in the penis. G: Alright, here we go.
T: Yeah. *PFFFT* G: AHAHAHHAHOOOW! T: Break out.
Andy: Pop’ em out and try to break out of it. T: You gotta break out! Andy: God, look at that… Ya’ hands!
T: Nice! G: See, it cut me, like, I gave it the beans. T: Woah! T: Okay. T: I gotta go to work, guys! T: Oh, my God… I need a break. T: Ouch! T: Gavin, this has to end! G: Just type one e-mail. *TYPE* *SEND* T: Oops. G: I think you just printed it. T: It’s time to break free. G: Oh! You made it. Well done, Trey’cs. T: Hoooh, God! Well… that was- you got an e-mail. G: Good effort. R: Wow. T: The camera! J: Little off…
M: Little far… It was a little far. *NOPE* R: Welp. G: How did you do THAT? You moved the hole! G: Now there’s a black cock pokin’ out of the ceiling. J: Oh, no! M: It’s- M: Throw it up straight! *POW* J: AAAAAGH! M: And there it goes! M: *PRICE IS RIGHT FAIL HORN* J: I got a real good cut in right there. J: I think if I shake it hard enough, it might just SPLIT in half. *INDESCRIBABLE DILDO NOISES* G: Oh! There it is. J: God! *NOW THEY’RE THROWING A DILDO AT THE WALL* *BANGING AND CRASHING* J: It’s still working. T: -Go up-and-ov’-and-upsie-daisy! *CRACK* G: OH!
R: Oooooooooo, Trevor! Jack: Why would you do it again?! T: So… G: [Inaudible], watch out! T: Oh! G: Oh, shit! M: Sounds like something’s happening behind me. T: Jeremy’s in the trash bin. J: By the way… I would like to point out that… almost all of my weight is on my Adam’s Apple. T: Use your hands, get your hands up there. M: Get your fuckin’ throat off of there, man. J: I can’t! I can’t it’s gonna break! M: This thing is gonna rip to shreds. J: Watch out, Gavin! T: Watch out, Gavin! J: The speed! J: Oh, God, please-… G: Don’t kill ‘im! *WOOHOO* T: How’s your Apple?
M: I went for the shoulder just so he didn’t fall out. G: “How’s your Apple?” T: Oh, no, he’s comin’ after me! J: Yeeeeaaaaaah. M: Dude… T: *♪ PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN THEME ♪* T: ♪ Now we’re sideways. ♪ T: *♪ PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN THEME ♪* J: ARRR! Down the grass! Lindsay: Oh, yeah? We’re goin’?
M: Alright… you want it!
T: I’m gonna break somethin’! J: ARRR, MATEY! TO VICTORY-! *SHIPWRECK* M: That looked… so painful. T: To victory-… M: There was no bounce… Burnie: To Stage 2, Jeeves. G: Watch the speed bump. B: The good news is, it’s comfortable… that’s the best- PART! B: God damnit! B: I went to college. I’m just gonna point that out. I just-… I got an education.
Lindsay: Yeah, you did. B: I have marketable skills, Trevor. I don’t need to put up with this, right? B: Alright, well that was great; five stars. Chris: I’m goin’ up those stairs. T: Oh, okay!
M: Are you, really? B: Hit the stairs, buddy! J: FUCK! FUCK! T: Are you okay?
G: Are you alright? T: Oh, my neck! Did you feel that in your neck, too? G: Jeremy, you ready?
J: Mmm-hmm. G: Jeremy, thoughts? J: Uh… there’s holes… in this. M: Some in your mouth? J: Uh, huh. M: One word.
Jack: One word. Lindsay: Flint.
Jack: Flint… steel. M: Burns? It burns! It’s burning your face. Gotcha. M: Jeremy… Do you want me to pour some Moonshine down one of the straws? J: Mmm-hmm. G: He said, “Yes.” M: Okay, ready Jeremy? I’m dribblin’ it in. M: And… here it comes. J: Mmmmmmm. J: *MUFFLED AYYYOO* Lindsay: It smells so bad.
Andy: …God. J: AGH, IT’S SO BRIGHT! G: Well, it’s gonna get the moisture out. M: Don’t burn his face, that’s already happening. M: Yes, it’s- it’s sagging. Gravity is takin’ it. T: You look like a homeless clown. Lindsay: What if we do this?… You guys push real quick, and I’ll hairspray him, like all over the face, so we try and like, stick- yeah, yeah.
G: Oh, like a lacquer, like, to seal it. M: That might actually work.
G: Okay. Lindsay: Three… Two… One! Lindsay: Hold, Jeremy, hold! Come on! M: Dude, this is gonna fuckin’ fuse to the table. J: Alright.
G: Alright. Our work is done. G: Still very moist. J: Let’s see what happens. *CHAPOW* M: Well, you fucked that one up. *WALLOP* M: I’m so glad I had my hand there. For some reason I knew it was gonna hit my desk. G: Alright, Michael, your turn. *PUNT* *BOUNCE* G: OH!
T: That was so close! G: Did that go up there, almost?
M: It hit the one right next to it. *KICK* *WHAM* *DISASTER* T: It like, bounced-…
Jack: So, you’re try- you’re trying to hit from over there, into there?
M: Tell ya’ what, we’re giving the ceiling a good old-fashioned shake-up. T: Over here, into the hole. *PAP* Jack: Aww, damn! *CRUSH* T: Ooo!
M: Ooo! A sizeable hit. T: That’s where all the glass is.
M: But, a very cool rock. *BAP* *FUCK YOU, CHINA* M: HOLY SHIT! Jack: YES! M: There it goes… In one fell swoop. Jack: I left the light! I’ve yet to shatter a light! M: It’s not broken, yet! J: Wait, where’s the pink one? *SMACK* *WHACK* M: Not bad. Not bad. G: Alright, I’ll have a go. *I’M RUNNING OUT OF ONOMATOPOEIA* T: Goodness.
Jack: It’s still up! *THWAP* *TAP* *PLAP* M: Hoh! Caught it!
G: Well, now you gotta go again. *NAH* M: Damnit! M: So bad. G: Alright, we’ll- we’ll have a lightning round; kick from where you catch it! *BOOT* M: AGH, I hit the same fuckin’- I popped it back into place! I hit the one I hit before.
T: You fixed it! You fixed it! J: ‘Atta-boy! *OH, BOY* M: NOO! THE [CUP?]! J: You got it, Geoff!
Jack: IN THE HOLE! J: Nailed it! M: AAAAW, I-… M: I JUST fixed that!! *JACK BREAKING AGAIN* T: GEOFF!! M: Geoff’s- Geoff- Trevor-… Trevor’s gonna have a word with you about tearin’ this place up. *BOOSH* M: It was… really soft. *ABSOLUTE CORKER* T: OH!! God damn…
M: OH!! J: Alright… Bounce Castle.
M: Jesus Christ, don’t rip it before we blow it up, first. J: Ow! Jack: Ayy! Come on, Geoffrey!
R: Geoff? Come on! M: Come on, Geoff! *THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL WORKPLACE* G: Should we get the support room in? Geoff: Yeah. G: Count of three! One, two, three! HIT IT! *TO BE FAIR, THIS TOY -IS- INTENDED FOR CHILDREN* G: Uhp! Are you kidding-
J: BOUNCY CASTLE! *DEAD* M: Yeah, he hit the floor. G: Back to work… G: So, now we’re gonna try and hang the bouncy castle J: Alright. G: UHP! J: Ugh. R: Uh… Uh… G: HUUUHPS! R: There it is, that’s what it needed.
G: Oh! There it is. M: You know what, Gavin? That was the throw of a mastermind.
R: It needed you to stop believing. R: Yeah, alright, pull it.
Jack: Okay. You good? T: Alright, who wants to be the-… the test mouse? M: It’s screaming. Yeah.
J: I’ll do it. J: Oh, another great day at work! Are those PayDays?! J: ‘Cause those are my favorite. M: GOTCHA, BITCH! WE GOTCHU! WE GOTCHU! Jack: Alright, here we go. T: His legs are flailing, I think he’s trapped. J: It’s like he got- like a guillotine! G: That’s really scary.
M: Alright… M: Just go get that footage.
J: Yeah. J: Alright, now… Hey, look down here. Alright, so it’s on that ‘X’ right there. T: Not this one, just-… Yeah.
J: The red ‘X’. J: Just get- it’s right over there.
T: It’s actually underneath. Neal: Okay. J: Go get that red ‘X’, there. T: Don’t look around! It’s right over there, we told you where it was. J: The footage is right on it. J: It’s right on it. T: I got him! Steven: Oh, I see it completely, now!
Cib: Oh, I see it! J: Jack threw that up there. Jack: We got a double! T: We caught ’em! We caught ’em, right in the hole! G: That was- I never thought that would actually work! B: Achievement Hunter put out a rap battle… that was wildly popular. B: However, Gavin Free thought he could improve on the lyrics… and so, he has modified… the list of lyrics, and now Jeremy’s gonna attempt to rap it, on the fly. J: God! B: Nailed it. J: (When I HAPHAPHA-in a year, what you TAPTAPPED in eight!) M: You know what I like? You know what I like? M: Burnie walked in… 20 seconds before we shot that video… and he gave the intro like he planned the thing. J: Rapping is hard, man. Look at my hands. M: Oh, my God. That’s from rapping?
G: You shaking from the rapping? J: Yeah, it’s just ’cause you just… go! T: So, we’re gonna go get some zip tie- some bigger zip tie- Gavin, you did a lot of homework. G: And uh, what are we using it for? T: Well, you need length, so they can get around body parts… and walls. J: Wo-hoah! John! S- fancy runnin’ into you here! J: Hey, listen, um… I just wanna say… J: Sorry for everything. Alright, you know what? It’s been a good talk. G: Oh, Jeremy, go for a dive! *DIVE* G: That was nice. T: Oh, no. *FLOP* G: You got so much air! *SICK FLIP* T: He flops like a dolphin. *COWABUNGA* G: Like a fly on a windscreen. T: Anyway, moving on. J: Zip ties. T: Yep. T: Oh, God. J: We’re still gonna need two. T: Oh, God, my blood flows-… look at it!
G: Alright, cut that one-… cut that one off, we’ll start again.
J: Alright, let’s cut that one off. T: Where’s the emergency scissors? J: Got it! T: Oh, no… J: Hold still.
T: Oh, God, it hurts! J: Don’t flex it off!
T: I’m- well, most- OW! J: Just, stay!
T: Oh, my God. T: There’s an artery there.
M: He’s sawing with a knife… G: …Towards him.
J: Yeah, he’s fine. T: Christ! M: This is the death of Trevor…
J: Jack, you wanna help? Jack: Obviously.
M: …Just so you know. T: Oh, God, Jack, that’s tight. Why?! Jack: You don’t wanna fall. T: Well… good point.
M: Uh, he’s tryin’ to keep you safe. T: God… no!
J: No, no! M: That’s… fucked up. *THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL* M: I was joking, I was gonna do this… but… I won’t actually. J: There ya’ go!
T: I’m gonna fuckin’ die. Lindsay: Alright, tell me when. I’m only following instructions. J: Ready? Three, two, one!
T: Just- just-… why don’t you just pivot?! T: Oh, shit-digs! Lindsay: It’s working, it’s working! Jack: No, no, no, move it, Michael, move it! M: Alright, ready?
T: Oh, my God, my arms. G: Alright, move the couch away so we got a clean shot. M: Do you see how much shit we have under the couch?! Lindsay: Yeah, where the fuck is this gonna go? Jack: Lift it upright!
Lindsay: God damnit! G: What’s all that?!
M: …Like 10 of these! *VICTORY FANFARE* G: Alright, should we get people from the other room to come in and check? Larry: Oooooo… fuck.
T: Hey, guys. Just hangin’ out. G: Trevor, try and get yourself down. J: He’s gonna rip his upper body off and be fucked. M: Jesus Christ.
T: It’s not goin’. T: Looks a lot worse than it is.
G: OH! J: Oh!
Matt: God, dude. *CHEST BUMP* Lindsay: Wow.
J: That was somethin’. J: There ya’ go, pal. T: Look at that tension! J: Well, that’s important fo- OH, SHIT!
*POP* Jack: Alright, that’s Game Over. J: Alright, Trevor, come on! Bust your chest out! J: There ya’ go!
M: There it is. G: He’s a free man.
T: It’s still got my chest. G: Well done, team… Well done, Trey’cs.
T: Ow. T: I got bruises all over. Geoff: Somebody sent us 500 bouncy balls… Uh… which was a good start. So I, the other day, bought another 2,500. Geoff: What could we do with 2,500 bouncy balls, all at once? And then it hit me… we could- we could raise them to the ceiling… and then dump them all at once and see what happens. Geoff: I posted a picture that said, “2,500 reasons to come to work Monday,” and everybody thought they were gumballs. J: Alright, you ready, Alfredo?
Alfredo: (Nervously) Yeah. J: Three, two, one! DROP! G: Oh, my GOD, ali-! J: Ho-ly shit! Geoff: That was less damaging than I thought.
T: That was not as bouncy as I would have expected. R: Yeah. Geoff: It’s ’cause they all de-bounced each other. Matt: There’s still some up there.
J: Oh, man! R: Ready? Here we go.
T: Yep!
J: Yeah. J: Oh, my God! Oh, my Go-… J: Get under it, Ryan! T: Ow… Alfredo: AAGH SHIT! Alfredo: Agh!! T: It’s actually-… Like, it’s like- yeah, a terrible hailstorm! R: Take it up, take it up! We still got more to go! T: OW! T: It’s like the weirdest massage, ever. J: Oh, Michael’s desk got it bad. *ROLIE POLIE* G: It’s like Home Alone. T: Hold on, can- do we have any boards-… T: Do we have any boards that we can just, like skate on-…
G: Oh, yeah! *SILVER SURFER POSE* R: Nice recovery. J: Oh, shit! J: It did actually kinda work. Geoff: COWABUNGAAAAA-! *GROUND POUND* Geoff: My coccyx! Geoff: On you mark, get set, go! J: OH, SHIT! Geoff: Jesus Christ! G: Heads up! *SHWING* G: That works pretty well. G: You may remember: “Flinchless Kickie-Doo.” Absolute… stonking success. *FLASHBACKS* G: This is, “Flinchless Bouncy-Doo.” G: Try not to flinch as always. Jack: I got both of ’em. G: DAGH! *WHOOPS* J: Nailed the screen. J: Ow. M: Damn, dude. J: OH!
M: Oh, my God! G: Bonus Blast. G: Uhp!
J: NOO! Noo! M: Several bounces at your own desk.
G: It’s the wild card. *TREVOR GETS NAILED* M: Oh, my God, you nailed Trevor.
J: Got ‘im. J: Ooooh, thigh! J: AAAAOW! M: Hoh! That one was comin’ right at me!
Jack: Jeremy…
J: God… J: OH! That was a great one. J: I can’t s-OW!! J: I can’t see; the glasses fogged up, so I can’t even see ’em, now. G: AAAAGH! M: Technically, he’s down. J: Nailed it.
M: Technically he said ’til the first one drops, and he just dropped. M: Oh, yes! Was that dick?! J: AAOW! *HEADSHOT* *JACK DIES IMMEDIATELY* M: Oh, my God! That is it… that is it. J: Ow! M: I can say this… Jack won; Jeremy lost. Gavin, we just spectated. M: You are gonna have… a mark, for sure, maybe a lump.
J: Right there. M: Fuckin’… beautiful. M: J- Make sure you get Jack, he’s dead! Jack: (DYING) That noise it made! Oh, my God. J: Here we go, ya’ ready?
G: Yeh.
J: Yeah. G: Uhp!
Lindsay: Wow! J: Straight in.
G: Not bad. Jack: I hit it. J: That’s what happened to the wall. G: Uhp! Not bad. J: OOOH, the shelf! Jack: You good? G: HUP! J: Holy shit…
Lindsay: It’s up. J: Yeah, wow, that took a heavy impa- you can see the little peg in there. Where it tried. T: What the hell was that?! Jack: We put the bowling ball back.
J: We put the bowling ball back on the shelf. G: It’s Trevor’s turn. T: Dude… that fell and hit the floor, I felt it in the other room. I was like, “What the hell?!” Jack: Alright. T: BAP! Oh, shit!
J: Kobe! G: I better get rid of this knife, I’m not-… T: Hey, guys, we can store bigger things, now! T: *LINK IMPRESSION* Jack: Trevor, why are you so bad?! Jack: There it is.
T: No… J: Uuugh! T: Why is this-?!… It’s good! J: Oh, that took that so hard. G: What does that sound like in the other room? Matt: Pretty bad. T: It sounds… just like that, but as if it was next to you. Alfredo: Was that what it is?
G: Little-… Little trampoline… plus bowling ball. G: It sounds like it’s in here. *GLASS EXPLOSION* Jack: OH!
J: Oh! What was that?! T: The South Carolina shot glass! T: Ooo, what is that? It’s blood!
Lindsay: Aw, it’s sauce! T: It hit me in the neck! T: This is for Michael’s reaction to the… bowling ball fiasco. M: AW, WHAT THE FUCK?! M: COME ON! M: Why?! You’re back one day! It’s alwa- it’s always you! G: That wasn’t- Oh, that was me. M: ‘COURSE IT WAS YOU! M: COME ON! M: Did you at least film it?! J: Yeah.
G: Yeah. M: It’s a god damn mess over here. J: Yeah, I was like I don’t even know how to-
M: Well, you get on the fucking floor and you clean it up, it’s really complicated. M: *IMPERSONATING GAVIN* “I don’t even know where to begin- Oh, YOU should do it. You know how to pi- OH- Oh, you pick it up! Interesting.” M: “I didn’t know where to start!” Geoff: So, we- we’ve been- we had a bit of an intervention with ya’… Uh… Geoff: You’ve got British teeth… British mouth… Geoff: It’s gettin’ stinky.
M: Brit mouth. Geoff: So, we wanna- we know that, uh… you don’t like doing anything that’s boring… or pedestrian…
G: That’s true. Geoff: So, we wanna…
G: Who wants to just brush their teeth with a brush? Geoff: CLEANLINESS! *SQUISH* Jack: Awww… Geoff missed!
M: Aww! Yeah, he kinda- he mostly missed. Geoff: Alright, we’ll try again. *POW* Jack: Over! M: I mean, it went- it went under AND over.
T: Oh, my God, I’m fucking deaf. Geoff: It was loud… Alright, we’ll try again. Geoff: Gavin, maybe stand up a bit?
Jack: There might be a hole in the bottom.
T: Hold on, hold on. R: We have- we have… Probably has the structural security. Geoff: Alright, on your mark, get set… *KERSPLAT* M: Oooh, shit! G: I felt it. Geoff: We’re gonna get those teeth clean, right… HERE! Geoff: OH, SO CLOSE! So close! Geoff: Oh, there was like, height and everything was perfect!
Jack: You got maybe one more shot! Geoff: ‘Kay, we good? Alright, ready… Geoff: BRUSH! *MONEY SHOT* M: Oh, my God! oh, my God. That was perfect. That was amazing. Geoff: Let me see, let me see, let me see!
M: Call it done. M: Call it done…
Geoff: Fresh breath! G: Much better.
Geoff: Fresh breath! You’re clean! Geoff: Flippy Dick Stick!
T: So… Jeremy was throwin’ it… T: I- I haven’t done it yet. He was just goin’… *SLAP* T: …And it would stick, but what we’re trying to do is get a full rotation… before the stick.
J: So, yeah, I think-… me and Jack have both done it from here. Geoff: Yeah, Flippy Dick Stick. J: We need to see… One- one flip, and then suction. J: Ryan, if you get this first try… *PURE BADASS* Geoff: OOOOH, SHIET! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Alfredo: Oh, my God! T: What is wrong with you?!
Alfredo: What the fuck?! Geoff: Are you serious?! J: I knew he would! I knew he would!
T: Of course- of course he did; he didn’t even look! Geoff: Dude, Ryan… Just walk out the door, man. T: First try, baby! G: That was so tragic! T: Now it’s like, pointing right at me. I don’t like it at all! *VERY LOUD SLAP* T: THAT was a slap! M: It woulda’ broke… that would’ve been a broken cock.
J: That was all suction. J: That was all the suction cup. T: It’s a little higher…
G: Is that higher? G: I like, that, next to the lamp, there’s a triple shine on it! M: Yeah… yeah. You could tell time.
T: Alright… uh… J: So, that will stay there… uh… T: Do we wanna leave it there, or do we wanna get higher? G: How ’bout this, how ’bout this?… When the dick falls, we all take a day off work. G: So, it’s about a month later. M: There it is.
G: Still up there. M: Haven’t had the day off, yet.
G: No.
J: Watching over the support office for us. G: It’s hard to climb with this-… Matt: Move it, then! M: Don’t you guys love when Gavin comes in here? T: Go Flippy Dick Suck… Matt: That wood is actually-…
M: Put it in your mouth. J: There ya’ go! T: A day off is com-…
J: Aww, yes! Aw, yes! J: Ayyy!! J: So, anyways, that’s uh, the follow-up video. M: Yeah… who knows why we filmed that… to say, “There it is, and Gavin touched it with his eye.” M: Dude… M: What’s your fuckin’ face?! G: So, this is a- G: Trevor- Trevor said, “Throw it around the Kino.” And as we know, nothing bad has ever come from doing that. G: Okay, so, AROUND the Kino? J: Around the Kino. J: OH! M: Technically is what you described. T: That doesn’t sound like an object that can break something. Jack: There ya’ go! M: Give it to that light!
Jack: Little harder, though. Geoff: Trevor, what do you have against the Kinos? G: Oh! OH! M: That was a good one. J: Okay, so, more up angle, AND as hard as I can? T: Yeah!
J: Oh, okay! M: You should go WITH the ball. G: OH!
T: Told you, Jeremy! M: I mean, that was pretty good. Jack: Hoh, shit! M: That was a HELL of a hit. G: Damnit, another spinner! Jack: There ya’ go! M: Anything that happens-…
T: OOH, hey- Ouch! G: Damn good strike. R: Ceiling, left wall, and then ground, I think…
T: And then my leg. G: AAAAGH! M: Holy shit, that was close! Geoff: How did I get hit with a fucking bouncy ball?! Geoff: The FUCK?!
J: “AAAAGH!” Jack: That was ALL Gavin’s shelf, too, that’s all of Gavin’s stuff. J: Oh, yeah, right there?
M: Mr. Blobby! G: Sometimes when you’re at work, you just get a bit randy… G: I can’t do it! *SPLOOGE* J: AAAH! G: Oh, my-! T: Uh, alright… toothpaste capsule. G: Mayo capsule?
J: Mayo… T: So, follow-up on the Mayo capsule… G: Jeremy, have you seen this?! T: Look at the Mayo capsule!
G: Look at how m-… “capsule!” J: Oh, NO! R: What is that from?! J: Man, I gotta go to the doctor.
G: It’s the Mayo capsule! R: Oooooooh…
J: I squirted Mayo on the wall. R: Welp… Sorry, little buddies. G: Oho! Ohoh, it’s so gelatinous! T: Woah! That’s-… T: Ew. T: OH! I’m not even in. T: EW! T: Oh, God, it’s like-… it’s like being surrounded by a memory foam… J: It’s gonna come in like this, right? Look at that. T: It’s got a chill to it. Is that the cold one? G: No, this is the warm one.
J: No, that’s just my glove. T: Oh, my God. T: Oh!… It’s heavy! OH- MMM! Alfredo: Ooo, now we’re just IN it. G: I feel weird even using gloves. T: Let’s get the sleeves on there.
J: DEAL! G: Alright, I think that’s worked well.
J: Alright, cool. T: Let’s get some ASMR shirt action, like-… get in here close, Larry. J: Yeah, yeah, get- ready? *SLOSHING NOISES* T: Oh, yeah? Alfredo: Ryan… “That’s a noise.” T: Oooooooh, dog! It’s cold! It’s cold down my back. J: Okay, well it’s not a tank-top anymore, so you gotta-… J: What was it?
T: Oh, God, it splashed in my face! T: Um… T: Alright, cool, just want to make sure you’re working. T: Business as usual. J: We’ll clean that up. Barbara: Trevor, what the FUCK?! Burnie: Trevor… you used to be such a nice boy… G: See ya’. Barbara: Uh…
Burnie: What is that, WHAT IS THAT?! Barbara: What- what is-?!
Blaine: You got, fuckin’… chocolate pudding on the camera… G: Hey, that- that’s my boss, there. Barbara: What is on you?! DUDE!
Blaine: Trevor… Blaine: This is the shit that I would do, like… like my first couple months at RoosterTeeth, you know? You’ve been working here for like two or three years, why are you still doing this?! G: And, he also, he came, I think straight from the manager’s meeting. T: New ways to sell old things, Blaine! Burnie: “New ways to sell old things.” Blaine: What are they- WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?! T: Pudding Shirt! Burnie: Pudding Shi-
G: It’s a Pudding Shirt. Burnie: I’m glad you said it was pudding ’cause I was really concerned as to what it was until you said specifically that it’s- it’s pudding. T: It’s the new new. It’s new new.
Barbara: He looks like the Peanut-Butter baby. Barbara: Can you slap your-… slap your stomach? Blaine: He’s gonna have a zit sweater… tomorrow.
G: We put on the balls just in case he wanted to do some Mo-Cap. *LARRY GAGGING* *LARRY PUKING* Larry: We’re good.
T: Larry, that looks like the pudding! Don’t show it. T: Burnie, I’m sorry I ruined the podcast… But uh… T: But, hey… I think we’re gonna get a lot of sales out of it… T: I’m gonna need some privacy, Larry. T: Yeah… M: Well, there we go. Thanks for joining us. {CAPTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SNOZER2} M: Excellent work, Geoff… Uh, excellent work. Geoff: I love being away from the office, and comin’ back… and you guys are READY to film! WOO!

100 thoughts on “Best of Between The Games (1-30) [AH]

  1. Everyone frown upon snozer2. He/she managed to subtitle EVERY GODDAMNED SECOND of this video. Apparently he/she has no life. BUT, smile towards he/she as well. You need some serious nerve to do that to an hour long video. Anyways, thank you snozer2!! <3

  2. I've never watched any Achievement Hunter, or really any Rooster Teeth at all, but I watched every second of this and it was absolutely incredible.

  3. I am surprised Burnie hasn't reached into the company pocket and had the wall of Achievement Hunter/Let's Play padded.

  4. The flinch less kicky doo remind me of elementary where every one would line up on the wall and someone would kick a doge ball at the wall

  5. The achievement hunter theme is just the on the spot intro theme.
    Not that achivement hunter intro in the beginning of some of there videos

  6. This feels as if it’s scripted. Everyone’s interactions feel so perfect it’s like it’s out of a show like the Office.

  7. I think my favorite moments of any of these is seeing Jack fucking lose it. It's like a happy lion.

  8. The desk one cracks me every time XP
    BUT just saying,… if he’d tried that with my desk, he’d heave broken his heel….
    It’s a 2 inch solid beech wood slab

  9. Why is there just a random picture of Sandra Bullock from Miss Congeniality on the outside wall of their office? 27:28.

  10. I hate that the "fans" drove Mika away like they try to do every female addition. She was easily the best new member of the company ever to come along.

  11. When burnie first hears trevor say pudding shirt his fave was hilarious. Like a dad thinking to himself “my kids are train wreck “. Its your fault burnie they are all your kids.

  12. I will forever miss old rooster teeth it was a bunch of friends in a office doing stupid things and having fun with it but now in my eyes they have just turned into a soulless company.

  13. Yall looking to hire a janitor? Cause ill be the best god damn janitor youve ever seen. Im in Houston, so not far and am so fucking serious i will clean what ever the fuck kind of mess you make no questions asked. Even better, i can show you guys how to efficiently destroy the entire compound, and still have no problems having it all cleaned by the following morning. Seriously, hire me =]

  14. Watching all this, I can only say that if I worked at RT and saw a good portion of what happens with this stuff, I would turn and walk away

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